by admin | May 26, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Saving Sex Ed and an Overloaded Parent
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My school district has a sex education program that I don’t care for. Parents have the option of signing their children out of the class. I opted out for my two older children. However, this year all of my younger child’s friends are taking the class, and I’m receiving a lot of pressure for her to attend. I’m not sure I want my eighth-grader forced to endure several weeks of content on sexually transmitted diseases, contraception and even a childbirth video. Am I wrong to want to shield her from the information in this class? — Sex-Can-Wait Mom
Dear Mom: I think you are asking the wrong question. You may not be wrong to want to shield your daughter from information you deem inappropriate for her age. However, the real question is: Is it even possible to shield your daughter at this point? And the answer to that question, whether or not you allow her to attend the class, is a resounding no. The kids are going to talk the second they exit the classroom. Your daughter will miss out on the information from the teacher and only get the highlights from her friends. She will likely then Google the information secretly to learn what you are working so hard avoid.
While your daughter may seem too young to hear the ins and outs of sex and relationships, she really isn’t. Many other cultures begin sex education in kindergarten, as they should. Waiting until the teen years to begin the conversation is like trying to cram AP Calculus into just a few sessions. It takes years for children to learn just about anatomy. Sadly, I know some adults who don’t know that only men have prostates. A comprehensive sexuality education class includes information on gender, stereotypes, contraception, childbirth, sexually transmitted diseases, culture, gender equality, consent, boundaries and even abuse.
If you aren’t going to allow your daughter to get the education in school, you will leave her with an unnecessary deficit. Let her learn with her peers, and make sure to keep the conversation going at home. Provide an open space for your kids to ask questions and express their opinions and you will ensure that sex and relationships are not something that has to be endured but instead embraced safely and knowledgably.
Dear Family Coach: I’m tired of the PTA and the bake sales and the elementary school theme days. I feel like I can’t possibly cook another healthy meal or pack a decent lunch. I’m exhausted from working, and caring for my kids and my parents. Yet I feel an immense sense of guilt when I try to back off some of my responsibilities. Please, help me sort out how to keep on keeping on when I can barely make it through each day. — Past My Prime Parent
Dear Parent: Lean in, because I want to make sure you hear this clearly: You cannot do it all, and you don’t have to even try. There — I said it. As a parenting expert, I can happily report that your kids don’t really need freshly baked brownies or your company on every field trip. They don’t need you to be the class parent every single year, or for you to volunteer to make the class of 36 pinatas for the big end-of-year celebration. In the grand scheme of what kids need, these are all at the very bottom of the list.
Here’s what’s most important: that you give love, support, a safe home and room to grow. Sure, a healthy meal is important. But will anything terrible happen if you order a pizza or even go through the drive-thru at McDonald’s? I assure you it won’t. Put your feet up and lose the guilt. You are doing just fine.
Dr. Catherine Pearlman is the author of “Ignore It! How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction.” To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Saving Sex Ed and an Overloaded Parent
by admin | May 26, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Saving Sex Ed and an Overloaded Parent for 05/26/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My school district has a sex education program that I don’t care for. Parents have the option of signing their children out of the class. I opted out for my two older children. However, this year all of my younger child’s friends are taking the class, and I’m receiving a lot of pressure for her to attend. I’m not sure I want my eighth-grader forced to endure several weeks of content on sexually transmitted diseases, contraception and even a childbirth video. Am I wrong to want to shield her from the information in this class? – Sex-Can-Wait Mom
Dear Mom: I think you are asking the wrong question. You may not be wrong to want to shield your daughter from information you deem inappropriate for her age. However, the real question is: Is it even possible to shield your daughter at this point? And the answer to that question, whether or not you allow her to attend the class, is a resounding no. The kids are going to talk the second they exit the classroom. Your daughter will miss out on the information from the teacher and only get the highlights from her friends. She will likely then Google the information secretly to learn what you are working so hard avoid.
Updated: Sat May 26, 2018
Saving Sex Ed and an Overloaded Parent for 05/26/2018
by admin | May 19, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth for 05/19/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I want my kids to be good readers and read as much as possible. What’s the best way to make this happen? – Literary Dad
Dear Dad: Being a good reader and enjoying reading are two totally different things. It is possible to be a proficient reader who understands nuances, subtext and complex vocabulary but not passionate about sitting down with a book. It is also possible to adore reading but perhaps not score high on standardized tests. Focusing all energy on ability instead of satisfaction can suck the joy right out of reading.
Updated: Sat May 19, 2018
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth for 05/19/2018
by admin | May 19, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth for 05/19/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I want my kids to be good readers and read as much as possible. What’s the best way to make this happen? – Literary Dad
Dear Dad: Being a good reader and enjoying reading are two totally different things. It is possible to be a proficient reader who understands nuances, subtext and complex vocabulary but not passionate about sitting down with a book. It is also possible to adore reading but perhaps not score high on standardized tests. Focusing all energy on ability instead of satisfaction can suck the joy right out of reading.
Updated: Sat May 19, 2018
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth for 05/19/2018
by admin | May 19, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I want my kids to be good readers and read as much as possible. What’s the best way to make this happen? — Literary Dad
Dear Dad: Being a good reader and enjoying reading are two totally different things. It is possible to be a proficient reader who understands nuances, subtext and complex vocabulary but not passionate about sitting down with a book. It is also possible to adore reading but perhaps not score high on standardized tests. Focusing all energy on ability instead of satisfaction can suck the joy right out of reading.
To encourage your children to learn the love of books and stories, start by making reading a family affair. Read aloud in the living room after dinner or while snuggling just before bedtime. Get books on tape for long car rides and listen together, discussing the story along the way. Or try having family reading time when everyone gets their favorite book and reads for a designated span. Don’t worry about what book is chosen. If it interests your child, it is a good book. And if your children struggle to find a book that engages curiosity, think outside the box. The Guinness Book of World Records or the National Geographic Almanac, or even a cookbook, could foster the love of reading. Try to limit access to television and video games. When boredom sets in, the kids might just pick up a book. The love of reading can develop over time, so don’t give up. It is a worthy endeavor if you keep it fun.
Dear Family Coach: Every night, my wife and I have to fight with our 19-month-old daughter about brushing her teeth. We are only using ice water, but we think it’s important to brush after her final milk before bed. Is our daughter too young to be allowed to brush her teeth? — Peeved Parents
Dear Peeved: I commend you for your careful attention to your daughter’s teeth. Far too many parents feed toddlers a bottle of milk before bed as an aid to settle down. However, this can lead to rotted baby teeth, which impacts the health of the adult teeth.
Unfortunately, a 19-month-old doesn’t have the ability to properly brush each and every tooth with careful attention, although I’m sure she thinks she does. Children can’t reliably brush their own teeth until the age of 6. So you will need to continue to help her brush. But here is how you can leave the battle behind:
The trick with a toddler is to make her feel in control, like you don’t even want to brush her teeth. Continue to let your daughter brush her own teeth. Make it fun and a game. And take your time. If she can brush for about two minutes, she will eventually reach most of the milk remnants. When she is all finished, tell her that you have the speed round. Encourage her to do the speed round with her hand on the brush while you direct it. Be silly and quirky. She will love it. Once she is old enough to understand how not to swallow the toothpaste, you can move to a pea-sized dollop of paste. But continue to allow her to brush first until her heart’s content, after which you complete the brushing.
Dr. Catherine Pearlman is the author of “Ignore It! How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction.” To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth
