1. Start good sleep habits immediately upon bringing your baby home.
The groundwork you lay down now will prevent a lot of sleepless nights in the future. During your preparations for the baby, install a dimmer switch in your child’s room. When you have to feed or change a diaper in the middle of the night, it is ideal to have enough light to see, but not enough to unintentionally awaken the baby. Also, try to identify your baby’s sleepy indicators (yawning, a glazed look, fussy, rubbing eyes, chatty, etc) as early as possible. When he begins to show those signs, put him down. If you do this without rocking, a pacifier, nursing, or other sleep aids, he will learn how to fall asleep without you. Believe me–this is the most important factor in how well you sleep in the next few years.
2. Pacifiers are neither a panacea nor pure evil.
Used in moderation, “binkies” can help your baby meet his need to suck or soothe without creating an impossible-to-break pattern. A good rule of thumb is to give you child the pacifier during the day, but not for naps or bedtime. Try to phase out all pacifier use by the age of one.
3. Let your child explore and learn without rescuing him at the first sign of a fuss.
While it is so tempting (and–I’ll admit–downright delicious) to cuddle and rock and carry your baby all day, it sets your child up to believe that life will always be this way. Reality is harsh. Truth be told, there will come a time, probably in the near future, when you want to just put your baby down. By all means love your baby. But let him explore the world and develop the skills that he will use for the rest of his life. Your child needs to learn to put himself to sleep, soothe himself when he is distressed, and use his body and brain to solve the problems he encounters. If you sit back and give encouraging words instead of picking your child up, you will be amazed at how resourceful he becomes.
4. Get involved in some type of new parent group.
It can be a gym class or an informal coffee klatch. Joining other mothers (or fathers) who are going through similar stages is helpful in a number of ways. You can receive support and understanding from people who are right where you are in the parenting process. Hopefully you join a group with a no-holds-barred approach to sharing. You want to be able to complain without feeling afraid of disapproval. The members might also have more experience in certain areas and can offer their perspectives on even the most mundane issues. This can help to build your confidence. Lastly, there will be times when you are desperate for contact with a human being who can talk in full sentences. Your mommy (and daddy) friends will be invaluable.
5. Give yourself a break.
I’m not talking about hiring a babysitter (Although doing so is vital for the sanity of every parent, if even for one hour per week) What I mean is–don’t try to be the perfect parent. He/she doesn’t exist. Even with the best effort, we are all human. Sometimes you may put your child in front of the television to watch Baby Einstein so you can check your email. Sometimes you may eat before feeding your child. You may even look away for a second at the exact moment your baby decides to learn to roll off the bed. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, be real and forgive yourself.