Dear Family Coach,
My son wants to have a play date after school with a new friend. The mother of the friend has repeatedly offered to bring my son back to her home after school. But I know that the family has a gun. I am fearful to let him go but I also don’t want to hold him back. What should I do?
Signed,
Scared of guns
Dear Scared,
You have good reason to be afraid. Children are naturally curious, and they have vivid imaginations. Many kids pretend to shoot or use guns in playgrounds across the county. Accordingly, even when parents tell children firmly not to touch a family gun, often those rules are broken.
When there is a gun in the home, it is 22 times more likely to be used in an accidental shooting or suicide attempt. And, the majority of people killed in those shootings are children and young adults. Furthermore, most often these children are shot by another child. Put in different terms, every 7.5 hours a child is killed by a gun via accident or suicide.
Given the statistics, I believe you are wise to be cautious. However, there are ways to help ensure your son’s safety. I would begin by having a frank conversation with the parents of the friend. Let them know that you are uncomfortable around guns and that your child is unfamiliar with the rules. Ask them about their safety precautions. Is the gun unloaded and securely locked? Is ammunition stored separately? Are both the gun and ammunition locked in a way that the children cannot find the key or know the code?
If the parents are forthcoming and understand the inherent dangers of gun ownership around children, then you may feel more comfortable sending you son there for a play date. If, on the other hand, the parents are defensive or you don’t feel like you have been given truthful answers, well, then maybe hold back.
Either way, it might be a good idea to talk to your son about guns and gun safety. If your child comes across a gun he should know to: 1. Stop, 2. Never touch, 3. Leave the area, 4. Tell an adult. Once you have explained the safety tips, practice it. Then periodically, practice it whenever you see a toy gun. Additionally, explain that some real guns look just like toy guns so he is better to be extra careful.
Schools teach children to stop, drop and roll if they are engulfed in flames. However, gun safety is forgotten even though the risks are greater than the possibility of being caught on fire. As a parent this should be standard safety training whether or not your child wants a play date or not