by admin | Nov 19, 2014 | Blog, Catherine's Picks
A few days ago Forbes.com ran an article with the eye-catching headline, “The Morning Routines of 12 Women Leaders.” The point of the piece was to show the not-so-famous women of America how the more-famous women of America kick off their days with routine as a way to reduce stress. As I began to read, I thought, “Great! I could definitely learn something to improve my morning routine.”
Eh, it didn’t quite work out.
As I read about the various CEOs and TV personalities, I found myself feeling … worse. As in–more stressed out. The accounts of their mornings didn’t feel real, and they didn’t read like any women I know who have busy careers. Well, except for two or three (In full disclosure, Sharon Epperson is a good friend, and her morning sounded just right).
The more I read, the more it dawned on me that this article exemplified the exact reason so many women hate so many other women. Stay-at-home moms judge working moms (and visa versa). Women working the grind judge highly successful CEO women.
Many of the successful women profiled in the article seem to take a certain sadistic pleasure in displaying how absolutely amazing they are. I mean, they’re able to juggle all elements of their busy careers while still making time for highly specialized yoga, green smoothies, and working out seven days a week.
At 4:45 am, one woman says she does, “an hour or so of third or fourth series ashtanga yoga.” By 6 she’s prepared her kids their breakfast of green milk–made from almond milk with coconut water, banana and steamed baby spinach. Another healthy leader makes her fair trade coffee and has a vegan Zen Bakery muffin. Bravo!
Two other women start the morning with prayer and intentions for their day. Among the many who have time to work out seven days a week, one heads down to the home gym for an exercise session while watching Squawk Box (I didn’t know what this was. So I looked it up. As stated on the Squawk Box webpage “Squawk Box is the ultimate ‘pre-market’ morning news and talk program, where the biggest names in business and politics tell their most important stories.” Now you know.)
Another leader wakes at 6:43, doesn’t snooze but has time to “pull on John Eshaya sweatpants and clogs.” Those sweats cost $110. Glad she got the plug in.
You know what I was hoping for? Truly hoping for? Humanity and humility. I get that the article was prepped to show how their morning routines reduce stress and set them on the course to be successful. But real-life demands–such as tired and overworked parents, a toddler temper tantrum, a sick dog, a misplaced permission slip, or a late babysitter–usually set the stage for a much different routine.
So in response to this piece, I would like to start a new trend. Every woman (leader or otherwise) should write their real morning routine, warts and all.
Here is my morning routine …
“¢ 6:40–Alarm goes off. Snooze
“¢ 6:48–Alarm goes and I begrudgingly get up. I am not a morning person (although I would like to be)
“¢ 7:00–I head downstairs in my husband’s free running shirt from a long-ago race and the free sweatpants my mom got five years ago on Virgin airlines.
“¢ 7:03–Make the first of many cups of tea for the morning while also checking my email and Facebook.
“¢ 7:05–I yell up to remind the kids they are late (This happens almost every morning).
“¢ 7:08–I put a bowl and spoon in my daughter’s spot for her several bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios. I make a plate of whole-wheat waffles, berries, and juice for my son.
“¢ 7:10–I make a predictable lunch of cheese, bread, granola bar, and dried apples for my daughter and a healthy lunch and snack for my son. Inevitable complaints ensue.
“¢ 7:15–I ask the husband if he can take the dog out because I’m lazy and it is a little chilly in the morning. He complains, but ultimately does so.
“¢ 7:25–I rush my son to finish his breakfast so he can use the bathroom before we leave the house.
“¢ 7:28–I run around the house barking questions and orders. “Did you refill your water bottle?” “Pick up your dirty socks and put them in the laundry!” “Do you have your gym shorts?” “Get your shoes on!”
“¢ 7:33–My husband takes my son to school. As they leave we realize they are running late again and we will probably get that call from the principal telling us our son was not in line on time.
“¢ 7:45–I put on my very worn clogs and drive my daughter to the school bus in my pajamas that almost look like regular clothes but, well, aren’t.
“¢ 7:55–I sit down with what is probably my fourth cup of tea, eat a roll from Costco with my favorite almond butter with maple and begin my workday.
It’s weird how Forbes didn’t give me a call.
What is your morning like? Share your morning on Facebook, Twitter, your blog or tell a friend.
by admin | Mar 31, 2014 | Blog
- Picture by Valocity Studios
A video popped up in my news feed on Facebook today that hit me hard. I hesitate to write this post as I know it will point out this video to even more folks. But I think it is important to raise the issue and it really cannot fully be understood without seeing the video.
I can see the thought that went into the moment on the video. A mother is pregnant. She bakes a blue or pink cake to tell the kids whether they will have a baby brother or sister. A boy and his two little sisters come to the table where a white frosted cake is presented. Video and camera in hand as both mom and dad watch their son cut into the cake to discover mom is having another girl.
Here is where this video goes wrong for me. The little boy is distraught about having a third sister. He was hopeful and excited of the possibility of having a brother. He breaks into hysterics and dad tries to console him by saying “I wanted a boy too. It’s ok. You will love your sister…” This continues on for three minutes. Boy expresses sadness and dad continues to film. Dad just keeps trying to get the little guy to admit he will love his little sister.
It is so painful to watch because this boy is in real pain. As anyone who has tried to have another baby hoping for a specific gender but not getting it can attest, it is disappointing and can be painful. Doesn’t mean he won’t love his sister. But he is allowed to be sad and upset.
What I wanted so badly in this video but didn’t get was to see mom or dad put the camera down and go hug him. Tell him they are sorry he is disappointed. Empathize with how much they know it would have meant to him to have a brother. They shouldn’t push to convince him he will love this child. That is beside the point.
Further upsetting me is the fact that even after the filming of this precious moment was over, the parents decide to post it on YouTube publicly. Ok so you didn’t have your best parenting moment and your son was really upset. No one is a perfect parent. But why not just keep that to yourself. Laugh about it later.
I am sure they will love the little baby just the same. But it seems like a little discretion and empathy would have better fit the bill.
by admin | Feb 6, 2014 | Blog, Catherine's Picks
Lately I have been obsessed with young adult literature. Wonder, The Book Thief and The Fault in our Stars are some of my favorites. I enjoyed them as much (or more than) any ‘grown-up” books. Somehow, when they’re done well, teen-themed books seem to get to the heart of life’s struggles.
I recently read an advanced copy of Game World by C.J. Farley. Game World, released this week, is a story about an unpopular boy who is really good at video games. It turns out that he has an opportunity to not only play the game, but live the game in reality when the game world becomes the real world through a portal.
I am not much of a video game person and, quite frankly, I try to limit my kids’ use of screens. So I didn’t think a book about video games would be for me or my kids. But this book is special.
Farley sought to write a book that showed characters not readily visible in other books for young adults. Typically there aren’t people of color or those with disabilities offers as main characters. But Game World highlights both. And stereotypes are turned on their heads. Instead of the kid in a wheelchair being timid and afraid of life, he is so strong that he boosts up the courage of his able-bodied friend.
Another area of C.J. Farley’s brilliance is that he found a way to get kids who are interested in video games to read. Game World is an adventure set in a video game. What a smart bridge for kids resistant to reading!
I highly recommend Game World for kids in 4th – 12th grade. Parents can read it too and love the characters and story just as much as the kids.
by admin | Oct 22, 2013 | Blog, Uncategorized
As I entered the kitchen this morning to make my much-needed hot tea, I saw the remnants of my son’s football-themed seventh birthday party. Presents and cards from friends piled up. Green-and-white streamers, paper footballs, a homemade team T-shirt left behind.
My husband and I have always tried to make birthdays special for our kids by hosting the parties at home. Our kids truly look forward to the moment when they see the decorations, the themed-cake (which takes me about seven hours to create), the games and crafts. They love it all. Even as my daughter approaches the teen years, she still cherishes the homemade party.
And yet, the party doesn’t make itself. It takes weeks of organization, shopping, ordering, and prepping. It is a task I love and fear all at once. How will I get it all done? If I spend all this time getting ready for the party, then I am not doing something at work. Or worse, I have to find a way to pact it all in.
I’m not great at finding balance. I came to this conclusion this morning when I work up exhausted. Headachy. Beaten down. I didn’t sleep well. I was too stressed about all I need to get done in the next few weeks. I have three conference presentations to write and present. I have two Halloween parties to organize and run. I have family dinners, school projects, and doctors’ appointments. I teach four weekly classes, I need to update my lesson plans. It all just feels like too much.
I often talk with other working moms about how they balance career and family life. What I have come to realize is that you cannot have it all. You can’t have a high profile career and make homemade goodies for every school-sponsored bake sale. You can’t travel for work and make sure that your kids have a healthy snack for lunch every day. You can’t make it to every class trip or art show or play and still meet all of your obligations at the office. You have to make choices and sacrifices.
I don’t care how many high-profile women (a la Sheryl Sandberg) pen best-selling books saying they have cracked the code. You can’t have a dream career, be successful at it and be able to be a full-time supermom. Somewhere, something has to give.
In my case –to be 100-percent honest–I haven’t cracked the code. I haven’t found a way to do it all. What inevitably happens is that I either try to do it all and find that I can’t (stress winds up trumping enjoyment). Or I give up doing something that I thought was important to me, like being a class parent, picking up from school, or making homemade _____ (fill in the blank).
Some working women are very driven by their work identity and are comfortable surrendering some of the day-to-day parenting tasks. Other women give up work altogether and devote themselves fulltime to parenting. These stay-at-home moms give up the idea of working outside of the home quite comfortably. Lastly, there are the moms (like me) who aren’t in either of those positions. I am not able to hand over a piece of work or a piece of parenting. This leaves me feeling perpetually behind the 8-ball–stressed, and feeling like I am not doing enough anywhere.
While I acknowledge my problems intellectually, I can’t find a way to change. I don’t know how to prioritize. It all seems important. I want to get tenure at work, which means doing more than just my job. But I also want my kids to feel like I was there for them in their childhood. I want them to remember the special touches–their birthday cakes, the handmade Halloween costumes, the Sunday dinners with family. I want them to know that, while I choose to work, I love them more than my job. I want them to know happiness in childhood so they can find it in adulthood.
I don’t know if I will accomplish my tenure or if I will give my kids the childhood I wanted them to have. For today, I will continue to walk the highwire trying to balance it all.
And I’ll try not to fall off.
by admin | Aug 2, 2013 | Blog
Originally posted on The Huffington Post Parents Blog
I just saw this post about women supporting women no matter how they choose to feed their babies. I love the message and thought it the right time to share my experience.
Recently watching my daughter sleep I couldn’t help think of how as a parent we naturally want the best for our children and involuntarily care for them to the best of our ability. We worry, sometimes for no reason, about everything. Are we good parents? Are we doing enough to help our kids grow into healthy adults? Are they getting enough to eat? Do they have enough mental stimulation? Having had a recent scare with my daughter’s health, I sit here watching to see that she breathes, the most basic function and wonder how important all the little stuff really is.
My daughter, Casey, is 10-years old and generally a happy, healthy, and well-adjusted child. She has met most of her milestones on time and some with great passion. She enjoys music and theater and reads anything she can get her hands on.
Yet, while I think my husband and I have done right by Casey in most areas, there is still one area that continues to plague my mind. The guilt and concern pop up in the oddest times, even with strangers. I know I cannot be the only mother feeling this confusion and pain, but it seem that no one really feels good openly expressing their opinion when I mirrors mine. Mothers all over feel concern about whether or not they were able to give their child the best start. However, it all comes down to this: if you don’t breastfeed are you less of a parent, are you selfish for not sacrificing more for the benefit of your child, and will your child always be behind and less healthy for not having been breastfed?
I admit that I had concerns about breastfeeding long before it was relevant. I’m extremely modest about my body. Seeing others’ naked breast in public has caused me embarrassment at times. I was not breastfed, nor was my sister or cousins. I have always hated milk and will not touch it under any circumstances. Frankly, the thought of milk coming out of my breast was a bit disconcerting and gross.
Depending on where you live, how old you are, and what race and socioeconomic group to which you belong, you are more or less pressured to breastfeed. The Center for Disease Control reports that the older you are, the more educated, and ironically, the higher your income, the higher the likelihood that you will breastfeed. In the United States, Caucasians breastfeed he most while African Americans are in the lowest percentile group. Furthermore, depending on your geographical location, you could have an even higher incidence. For example 71% of babies in New York City are breastfed while cities like Detroit and Baltimore have rates hovering in the 40% range.
All of these statistics mean that I am surrounded by people who breastfeed. This compounded my guilt and shame over not wanting to breastfeed. To be honest, I did have some impediments from the start. As stated, I wasn’t looking forward to breastfeeding. I didn’t feel it was right for me.
Even though I had no desire, the literature all suggested innumerable benefits to baby and mother. Breastfed babies have been shown to have better immune systems, less allergies and asthma, and higher intelligence. Babies are forced to suck harder to receive milk which strengthens their jaw and helps teeth grow better. Breastfeeding enthusiasts point out that the mother will have no bottles to sterilize and no formula to buy (a huge expense, actually). Lactation stimulates the uterus to contract back to its original size faster and to prey on every mother’s weakness, they say mothers who breastfeed lose their pregnancy weight faster since breastfeeding even burns calories. With such clear evidence and probably with some peer pressure, I decided tat I would feed my baby in the healthiest way possible.
When I went to the hospital to deliver Casey, I had a unblemished picture in my head of how it all would proceed. Following some pain and hours of anxious waiting, I would push Casey out. Then the nurse would confirm she was a girl as we had been told, and she would place her on my chest to view and cuddle. After a quick cleanup, she would be returned to my loving arms, and I would be instructed by the nurse on how to breastfeed her. All of my fear and trepidation would be tossed aside as little Casey would attach–starting a beautiful bonding between a mother and a daughter that would begin a long, wonderful friendship. I thought, in my dream world, it would go smoothly. I was wrong.
Casey was born with the cord tightly wrapped around her neck. She was limp and lifeless when she came out and was immediately taken, with barely a glance from me, to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Due to some minor complications I wasn’t able to see Casey again for 10 hours. I repeatedly asked for a breast pump, but due to overcrowding in the maternity ward, I didn’t get any response. By the time I finally got to see my baby again, she had already been fed formula out of a bottle and I hadn’t tried breastfeeding for almost half a day. No one talked to me about when I should try to feed her or how to do it. When my roommate’s baby was wheeled in crying to be fed in the middle of the night, I decided to go up to feed Casey. The staff there helped me safely get Casey onto my lap but didn’t offer very much in the way of advice or instruction on how to nurse.
Casey was discharged on time and as I took her home I still clung to the hope that I would breastfeed. Even though I felt incredibly uncomfortable I continued to try. While I made more than an ample amount of milk, Casey had already become accustomed to getting milk from the bottle. So I did the next best thing and I pumped. Every three hours after feeding Casey, I attached a mechanical device to suck the milk out of my breast. Seeing 8 to 10 streams of milk ooze into the bottle to produce six ounces of milk gave me pride and nausea at the same time. I saved my milk in the freezer in marked bags to be defrosted as needed. My breasts were stretched beyond their capacity and the pain caused by engorgement and irritation due to pumping was unbearable. When a massive blackout hit the Northeast, I was obsessed with keeping my milk supply on ice. The harder it was for me to continue breastfeeding, the more attached I had become to that milk.
Meanwhile, my husband was able to feed Casey whenever he wanted, and especially during the night. I realized that formula seemed a lot easier and less painful than pumping, but does a good mom ignore her own milk for a costly, powdery substitute? As time went on my enthusiasm for doing the right thing waned and my disgust with breastfeeding grew. Strangers and friends alike all felt the need to ask if I was breastfeeding, as if that had become an acceptable line of questioning of a new mother. I said that I was, but it came with mixed emotions. Indeed, I felt pride for feeding Casey the best stuff on earth, but humiliation at not really breastfeeding. I felt as if I was a failure already for only pumping. If I were a real woman and mother I would have had no problems doing it the “right” way.
As my desire to stop lactating grew, my guilt and shame grew with it. How would I face the breastfeeding community, which was essentially everyone I knew, and say that I just didn’t want to do it anymore? The pain was too intense, and I could not longer see the benefits. The less frequently discussed side of breastfeeding is the difficulty. Aside from the pain, your body is thrust head on into the role of parenting without time to recover from the pregnancy and birth. It can be very isolating if you try to be discreet. You never know how much the baby has eaten and if it’s been enough. It is draining to be on call to feed your baby alone every two to four hours, and it is not very compatible with the working mother.
After calling the doctor for the third time to discuss the pain, she finally said the words I was longing to hear: “Maybe it would be better for you to stop breastfeeding.” My doctor was incredibly sensitive to the pain and confliction I was feeling with trying to do the best for the baby while trying to manage my own discomfort. She said that if I couldn’t even hold Casey comfortably due to the pain, it wasn’t worth it. Casey would receive more love and bond faster if I didn’t breastfeed. This was an opinion I never knew existed. I was grateful for the permission to stop the agony and go on learning how to be a mother.
I immediately stopped nursing. Within two weeks I felt like a new person. A depression had been lifted as well. My embarrassment, loneliness, frustration, feelings of inadequacy and my concern about my abilities to be a good mother vanished. Suddenly, I was capable of being there for my child without the constant pressure of whether I was being good enough. I realized I wasn’t less concerned about my child’s welfare than mothers who continue to breastfeed. I just made a different choice. I may wonder if Casey could have been healthier or smarter if I continued to breastfeed. However, I have come to peace with my decision. I know that I did the right thing for us, and that is all I can try to do.
A few years later we were blessed with another child. Again I felt pressured to do what was “best” and I breastfed. This time it went swimmingly. But after four months I quit due to a persistent infection that required me to pump and dump for at least two weeks. Again I felt ashamed and heard loads of opinions about what I should have done. I can’t say for sure what the “best” decision for feeding is. But I believe strongly that women should respect that there are all kinds of ways to love and nourish a baby.
I wish for my children all the love, happiness and health in the world. I believe I can give them that no matter how they were fed at birth.
by admin | Jul 25, 2013 | Blog
I wrote the column below three years ago. While time has passed, my thoughts are the same today.
My daughter Casey has loved books since she was a baby. We began to read to her lying on our backs holding the book above our heads when she was just three months old. She would sit forever if we kept reading. We even fought with our first babysitter who thought it was a strange idea to bring a baby to the library. Casey is now six years old, and she still loves to read.
Last year in Kindergarten she figured out that she could actually read herself. It was so exciting. My excitement came to a halt when she would still choose to thumb through a book just looking at the pictures. I got put further in my place when a mother of another child in the class told me her child was reading Harry Potter. . . in Kindergarten. Now, Casey is no slouch in school. In fact, she prefers it to summer camp. But apparently she was falling behind the “A” kids. I just couldn’t believe that a 5 year old was reading and comprehending Harry Potter. One day I took Casey and her genius, Harry Potter-reading, little friend to the library. I sat down with both girls and we all took turns reading Curious George. Turns out this Harry Potter-reading child reads no better than Casey. I was relieved then perplexed. Why would parents brag about their child reading a book that is clearly meant for an older audience? Furthermore, why would a mom brag when her child couldn’t possibly be reading books at that level? Lastly, why would I care if she was reading Harry Potter but Casey wasn’t?
This last question is the one that still plagues me. Now in first grade, Casey is a confident reader. She still absolutely loves books and magazines. Yet, she isn’t interested in the beginning chapter books like many of her friends. She mostly wants to read picture books of any kind. She will happily read about whales, space, olden times, Martin Luther King Jr. and Helen Keller as long as there are colorful pictures, but nothing that has real looking chapters. Casey’s reading choices bring up an ugly inner struggle that I have tried to but just can’t shake.
Why do I care what other children are doing? Why does my child have to be one of the smartest? Prettiest? Best at ballet and swimming? Do I really want all of that? I don’t think so. What I really want is for her to be kind, loving, a good friend, and to have a happy life. Yet, I feel this tug every time my child isn’t measuring up. There is an unspoken competition that goes a good distance past being able to brag about your child’s college or chosen career.
When I grew up I took piano lessons once a week and then went to Hebrew School once a week. That was it until I started middle school sports. There was no little league for girls or soccer or gymnastics or ballet. Maybe some kids did other activities, but it wasn’t the constant “lessons” we are currently living through. After school I rode my bicycle outside and played football in the yard with neighbors. I made my own snack and watched some General Hospital until dinner. On any given day I could find 10 people on my street to play with. Now it is virtually impossible to match schedules with one of Casey’s friends for a play date. Every kid has somewhere between 3 and 5 after school activities not including weekend activities.
Last summer when my son was almost three years old, I was asked by a few parents if I was going to sign him up for soccer. Another parent wanted to know if Emmett wanted to take Tai Kwon Do with her son. Some other parents were signing up their kids for swim lessons. While there is nothing wrong with any of these activities, why does a three year old need lessons in anything?
As a family coach I am often counseling parents to schedule less for their children. I believe over-scheduling reduces a child’s ability to self entertain, reduces the amount of quality family time, and can create a stressful life trying to make all of the activities and schedules work out. I firmly believe less is more. Yet, I still struggle to keep my kids activities to a minimum. Since all of the other kids are taking soccer and swimming are my kids doomed always to be the worst at sports because I have a philosophy? Will kids who have been skiing or skating or playing the violin always be better than my kids? Will this affect their self esteem in some negative way?
I don’t have the answers to any of these questions and I guess time will tell. But, my discomfort in the current state of affairs in early childhood activities is only the tip of the iceberg. The problem really is how I cannot stop comparing my child’s progress to the other children around them. It used to be we wanted to keep up with the Jones’s. Now we have to keep up with their kids too.
As a kid I hated to read. I literally made it until 10th grade before I read a book. Now I am a voracious reader. I have come to realize that Casey has the rest of her life to read books without pictures. What’s the rush? I hope I can keep my own pressures out of my children’s lives so that I can make the best choices for them without worrying about what the Jones’s kids are doing. Wish me luck.
by admin | Jul 22, 2013 | Blog, Catherine's Picks
Rewarding kids for good behavior is a way to minimize negative behaviors and encourage more positive ones. I like this chart because you can write in the behaviors and what a child earns for the stars earned.
It is good to start with only a few behaviors for younger kids. For older children, you can write 6-8 behaviors. Also, try one behavior you know your child can do, one that is a little of a reach but he/she can do, and one that he/she hasn’t done yet, but you would like to see. In the beginning it is good for the child to get a few stars easily. It helps get them invested in the system. Lastly, behaviors on the chart must be positive. Avoid giving a star for not hitting brother, for not spitting food out, for not making a mess. Instead reward for catching child being nice to brother, eating food with good manners, and for cleaning up.
Some good examples of behavior for the chart would be: Put clothes in laundry basket, hang up book bag, good table manners, listens the first time asked, does a good job on homework, and helps a parent with a chore. Choose items that you feel you are always nagging your child to do.
by admin | Jul 17, 2013 | Catherine's Picks
I recently wrote a short blog for the Wall Street Journal about how to talk to your kids about the George Zimmerman verdict. Here is what I had to say
by admin | Jul 5, 2013 | Blog, Uncategorized
So your previously delicious angel has turned into a screaming, biting, head banging, little trouble maker. Here is the good and the bad news. As children become more secure with their attachment to their parents they begin exploring their environment wanting independence. The good news is that as your child pushes him/herself to do more difficult tasks he/she will develop a strong self-esteem as well as learn to dress oneself, put on shoes, brush teeth, spread the butter on toast, etc. The bad news is that it can be frustrating to be a little guy/girl who wants badly to be able to make choices and do for himself but can’t always do so.
Toddlerhood, while difficult for children, can be brutal for the accompanying adult. However, there are ways to not only get through this time, but to grow as parents and children. Here are some tips that you can begin as soon as the first tantrum rears its ugly head:
- Manage your schedule so that you leave extra time for everything. Rushing just doesn’t work for toddlers.
- Plan less and accomplish more. The more you put on your plate and the plate of your toddler, the more opportunities there are for your plans to be thwarted by tantrums.
- Before you say no to your toddler who asks to do something for himself, think first if you can let him try. It is better to let your toddler try to put his shoes on and fail then it is to tell him he can’t do it. If you aren’t hovering and waiting to jump in there he will probably eventually ask you for help.
- This might sound like a cliché, but choices are very powerful. Whenever you can give your child a choice it is best because it makes him feel like he has some control over his environment.
- No matter how carefully you tread, you cannot avoid all tantrums. Sometimes little people are irrational. The best way to deal with an irrational, screaming child is to ignore him. No matter what, don’t give in. Sometimes the tantrum has to run its course with the child not getting his way to realize that a tantrum is not an appropriate way to get what he wants. If you give in to just end the screaming (which I know is insanely tempting), it only reinforces to the child that this act works.
- Remember that this is a phase. Your child isn’t trying to harass you or make your life more difficult. He is just trying to grow up.
by admin | Jul 5, 2013 | Catherine's Picks, Uncategorized
Sending my daughter off to sleep-away camp was something I never questioned. It is what I did, and my sisters, and all of my cousins. It was the best time in my year and I learned half of what I know from my summers away. I can start a fire, put up a tent, canoe, sail, water ski, be independent, be a friend, a leader, a follower, and push myself to do something embarrassing. Most important, I learned to deal with people who I may not always like. Our head counselor, Helene Lebowitz, used to say “Girls, you don’t have to like each other, but you have to get along.” Helene taught me one of my most valuable lessons. I never forgot her or the lesson. I wanted my kids to have the same experience.
Basking in the glowing memories of my camp experience, it never occurred to me that I would be at home suffering and desperately missing my daughter. I wonder if she is getting any sleep. Did she make friends? Is she eating anything healthy? Did she find her toothbrush? Is she changing out of her bathing suit when it’s wet? Is she using a clean towel for the shower and not the yucky one from the lake? Did she get up on skies? What is she doing right now? How about now? What about now? You get the point.
To make my obsession even more voracious, the camps post photos of the kids. Parents pour over these photos waiting for a glimpse of a happy camper. This cartoon really makes me laugh because it is so true. Anyone who has sent their kids off to sleep-away camp can relate. Enjoy and try to laugh.
