by admin | Sep 16, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
A Slob and a Deliberately Unhelpful Daughter for 09/16/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My teen son is a slob, and it drives me insane. The other day I decided to help him clean up. It took us four hours, but everything had a place and the room was spotless. Not a day later, it was back to a disaster area. I was hurt and felt that he was disrespectful to me by not trying to keep his room clean. Am I wrong? – Tidy Mom
Dear Tidy: Yep, you are wrong. Your son didn’t mess up his room to spite you. He’s just a slob. It’s what comes naturally to him. He likely doesn’t even see his room as messy. You see a disorganized mess. I assure you sees it differently.
Updated: Sat Sep 16, 2017
A Slob and a Deliberately Unhelpful Daughter for 09/16/2017
by admin | Sep 15, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Gifts Giving and Receiving for 09/15/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: A friend visited recently and brought a toy for both of my children. The 5-year-old received an awesome puzzle, and the 3-year-old received a dolphin bath toy. Unfortunately, my older son became obsessed with his brother’s dolphin. He pushed his gift aside and obsessed over the dolphin. I tried to get them to share, but it became a source of constant bickering and tantrums for my older son. In the end, I took it away, but that felt unfair. What should I have done? – Caught Mom
Dear Caught: How sweet that your friend brought the boys gifts. How sad that your oldest ruined the moment for everyone. But really, he isn’t to blame. You are. The good news is that you can easily undo the damage so it doesn’t happen again.
Updated: Fri Sep 15, 2017
Gifts Giving and Receiving for 09/15/2017
by admin | Sep 9, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Play Dates With a Stay-At-Home Dad and a Stinky Teen for 09/09/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I’m a stay-at-home dad, and most of my play dates have been with other dads so far. But I’m becoming friends with moms, too. We all have one big thing in common, but I just feel like it might be a little odd at first. If I invite a mom over with her child, are there certain things I should do as a Dad to sort of, I don’t know, make them feel comfortable? – Dad
Dear Dad: In this day and age, moms and dads are clearly taking on more similar child-rearing roles. More and more often, dads are organizing the social calendar, and that means interacting with the moms. Treat play dates with a mom friend just like you would a dad friend. You may not become best friends with all of the mothers, but if you are yourself, you will find those who will feel comfortable around you.
Updated: Sat Sep 09, 2017
Play Dates With a Stay-At-Home Dad and a Stinky Teen for 09/09/2017
by admin | Sep 8, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Potential Football Injuries and Stealing a Candy Bar for 09/08/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I allowed my son to play high school football last year because he’s a former soccer player, and the coach said he needed him to kick and punt. I was comfortable with that, and he had a great time. This year, however, the coach wants him to be the backup quarterback. My son is thrilled, of course. Football terrifies me because of the roughness and potential for long-term injuries like concussions. Would it be cruel to say no? – Cautious
Dear Cautious: I have a strong opinion here. Too many parents blindly sign their kids up for football without a moment’s thought to the high potential for irreparable injury. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association reported that 110 out of 111 former NFL players whose brains were donated to scientific research after death had chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE, a fancy name for brain damage. While evidence is mounting about the impact on younger players, the same study reported that 21 percent of high school players and 91 percent of college players also showed CTE.
Updated: Fri Sep 08, 2017
Potential Football Injuries and Stealing a Candy Bar for 09/08/2017
by admin | Sep 7, 2017 | Blog
1st Day of School 2013
This year my kids both moved up schools. My son is now a 6th grader in middle school and my daughter is in 9th at a new high school. The other day I drove by the local elementary school and thought I would feel a pang of sadness to be finished with that part of my kids’ lives. Turns out I felt the exact opposite. All I could think about was what I wouldn’t miss from elementary school.
I’m not in a rush for my kids to grow up. In fact, I’m really enjoying them right now. My daughter is solidly in the teen years, and she’s more delightful than ever. And watching my son develop slowly into the young man he will become is beautiful. I mean it. When they were babies my husband and I wondered what our kids would be. Now it’s becoming clearer, and it’s really cool to watch. Sure, sometimes I miss the little baby smell and the feeling of an exhausted toddler limp on my shoulder (Oh, that’s delicious.). Mostly, though, I’m good right where we are.
Inspired by the new school year, here is my list of six things I will not miss about elementary school.
Walking my kids to their classroom. Sorry, but I’m not a morning person. Not. At. All. Most days at drop off I’m in my pajamas with sleep still stuck in my eyes. I don’t want to make pleasantries with the other parents who look ready for the day. No, I want to stay in my car. Then, I want to head home to put my feet up, turn on the Housewives and sip a cup of tea to slowly start my day.
Buying 60 pencils: I never minded buying extra supplies for the classroom for kids who might not have enough. And I never minded sending my kids in with cleaning supplies and tissues so little Melanie didn’t dribble snot on my kid. What I never really understood were some of the items that were asked for but barely used (I’m talking about the 4th composition notebook that had three pages of writing in it) or the crazy quantities that could never have been used. For several years I had to supply 60 sharpened pencils. I cannot conceive of any possibility that my child, even sharing with friends, could consume 60 pencils in 9 months.
Projects that require supervision. I went to school for 22 years. I’ve done my time and my homework. I don’t want any more. And I don’t want to help my kids with their projects either. Most elementary school projects cannot be completed by the child alone. My kids didn’t know how to use the computer to Google, they couldn’t shop for required supplies on their own, and they couldn’t use the hot glue gun. So, their projects became my projects too. I’m done with that.
The 100-day project: Do not even get me started on this one. Every year for the 100th day of school all of the kids are assigned the same project. Find 100 items and make a picture with those items to celebrate the most insignificant day of the year. This might be a fun and educational project for kids in kindergarten or even 1st grade. But by the time 5th grade rolls around, believe me, all the kids can all count to 100. Pasting 100 Jelly Belly candies or Cheerios on a paper won’t drive the point home any further.
Ridiculously early dismissal every Thursday or the arbitrary half days. I love spending time with my kids. I really do. But I also have to work and so does my husband. When schools end every Thursday at 12:50 pm (yup, that’s right after lunch) it’s impossible to get any work done. In order to be at the crazy pick up line by 12:50 I need to leave the house by 12:35. That means I need to be in the shower by 12. I probably will need to eat something because I’m a bear if I don’t so that takes me to 11:45. By the time I’m back from drop off (even if I skip the housewives) that leaves me not even four hours of work. This doesn’t even take into account the half days that seem to crop up more and more for no reason. A half day dismissal is at 11:50. UGH! I will not miss those days.
The playground: It doesn’t rain in southern California. Like, at all. Without rain the asphalt-topped playground is the dirtiest place on earth. When I would pick up my son his hands looked like he worked in the coal mine for hours. No one ever told him, “Hey kid, you look kind of dirty, go wash your hands.” So my son had the black gunk on his face, hands, clothes and I’m sure he even ate his lunch like that. Gross.
