by admin | Jun 9, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My friend’s daughter (who is good friends with my daughter) is partying and drinking almost every night. It’s the end of the year, and she should be studying. Instead she is posting pictures of herself pounding beers on social media. I’d like to tell my friend because if I were her parent, I would want to know. But my daughter is adamant that it will ruin her friendship. What should I do? — In the Middle
Dear Middle: This situation is complicated because you have competing interests. Your daughter wants to keep her friendship intact, as do you. But the best interest of the child and family is also at stake.
Updated: Fri Jun 09, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | Jun 3, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: Our daughter is a very gifted volleyball player. Her coaches say she has great potential for a scholarship to a top college. Instead of that information motivating her, it seems to feed her ego. She isn’t following through with her coaches’ recommendations for training. I’m nagging her constantly because I’m afraid that if I don’t, she will blow this opportunity. We are fighting, and it isn’t working. Do I have to let this slip through her fingers, or is there something else I can do to push her? — Running out of Time
Dear Running: It never seems like a good time to let our kids fail, does it? All through their childhood, we protect our kids from the pain of their own actions (also known as consequences) because, frankly, we can. It’s easy enough to run that homework to school when it’s left behind. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal to allow a teen to miss school because he wasn’t ready for a midterm. And maybe it wasn’t so wrong to work through the night completing that diorama because your kid lost interest and didn’t budget enough time. Each instance of helpful intervention on its own isn’t harmful. But when we cease to let our children experience consequences, we fail to prepare them for the world.
Updated: Sat Jun 03, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | Jun 2, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 16-year-old daughter has a serious boyfriend. I hope she chooses not to have sex, but if she does, I’d like to ensure I don’t become a grandma just yet. I want to put her on birth control, but I also don’t want her to think I’m in full support of teenage sex. How can I handle this situation? — Better Safe Than Sorry Mom
Dear Mom: I’m in favor of being real over being in denial. Since you aren’t ready to be Grandma and your daughter isn’t ready to be Mommy, go ahead and offer birth control options. Making birth control available doesn’t force kids to have sex. Touting abstinence doesn’t prevent kids from having it either. Many parents make the mistake of pretending sex isn’t a possibility. Unfortunately, the price of that fantasy is extraordinarily high. Kids who want to have sex will, regardless of the restrictions or complications.
Updated: Fri Jun 02, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 27, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My son is 12, and he clearly has a crush on his math teacher. I’ve noticed little notes he’s written about her. I’m worried he will say something embarrassing or cross the line in some way. How should I approach this situation? — Mom o’ Loverboy
Dear Mom: I’m pretty sure this was a plotline for an episode of “The Brady Bunch” and Carol solved the problem with some fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and a backyard potato sack race. While real life isn’t quite as simple, this isn’t a problem to lose sleep over.
Updated: Sat May 27, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 26, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I’ve been coaching my 10-year-old son’s baseball team for a few years. I enjoy spending the time together, but it seems like I have a more difficult time coaching my own son. Do you have any tips for how I can be more effective with my own kid? — Coach
Dear Coach: There is something heartwarming and nostalgic about a father and son heading off to practice together with bats and gloves in hand. But the reality is that coaching one’s child is, as you mentioned, difficult. Being a coach is very different than being a parent, and sometimes what’s needed for one role contradicts what’s needed for the other. When you are both, it’s confusing to know when to push hard and when to simply be supportive.
Updated: Fri May 26, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 20, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My daughter is turning 13 in a few weeks. Instead of a party, she wants to attend a Green Day concert without me. She’d like to invite two other girls to join her. I don’t feel she is old enough to go on her own with friends. What do you think? — Worrier
Dear Worrier: There are so many factors to consider when making this decision. Her age is just a number. Some 13-year-olds can’t do much of anything independently. Others can cook, do laundry, care for elderly relatives and manage farm animals on their own. Her maturity level and abilities are much more important measures of whether or not she is ready. The venue is also a factor. Is this concert in a large hall in an unfamiliar big city, or it is closer to home at a smaller site that is easier to navigate?
Updated: Sat May 20, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
