by admin | May 19, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I want my kids to be good readers and read as much as possible. What’s the best way to make this happen? — Literary Dad
Dear Dad: Being a good reader and enjoying reading are two totally different things. It is possible to be a proficient reader who understands nuances, subtext and complex vocabulary but not passionate about sitting down with a book. It is also possible to adore reading but perhaps not score high on standardized tests. Focusing all energy on ability instead of satisfaction can suck the joy right out of reading.
To encourage your children to learn the love of books and stories, start by making reading a family affair. Read aloud in the living room after dinner or while snuggling just before bedtime. Get books on tape for long car rides and listen together, discussing the story along the way. Or try having family reading time when everyone gets their favorite book and reads for a designated span. Don’t worry about what book is chosen. If it interests your child, it is a good book. And if your children struggle to find a book that engages curiosity, think outside the box. The Guinness Book of World Records or the National Geographic Almanac, or even a cookbook, could foster the love of reading. Try to limit access to television and video games. When boredom sets in, the kids might just pick up a book. The love of reading can develop over time, so don’t give up. It is a worthy endeavor if you keep it fun.
Dear Family Coach: Every night, my wife and I have to fight with our 19-month-old daughter about brushing her teeth. We are only using ice water, but we think it’s important to brush after her final milk before bed. Is our daughter too young to be allowed to brush her teeth? — Peeved Parents
Dear Peeved: I commend you for your careful attention to your daughter’s teeth. Far too many parents feed toddlers a bottle of milk before bed as an aid to settle down. However, this can lead to rotted baby teeth, which impacts the health of the adult teeth.
Unfortunately, a 19-month-old doesn’t have the ability to properly brush each and every tooth with careful attention, although I’m sure she thinks she does. Children can’t reliably brush their own teeth until the age of 6. So you will need to continue to help her brush. But here is how you can leave the battle behind:
The trick with a toddler is to make her feel in control, like you don’t even want to brush her teeth. Continue to let your daughter brush her own teeth. Make it fun and a game. And take your time. If she can brush for about two minutes, she will eventually reach most of the milk remnants. When she is all finished, tell her that you have the speed round. Encourage her to do the speed round with her hand on the brush while you direct it. Be silly and quirky. She will love it. Once she is old enough to understand how not to swallow the toothpaste, you can move to a pea-sized dollop of paste. But continue to allow her to brush first until her heart’s content, after which you complete the brushing.
Dr. Catherine Pearlman is the author of “Ignore It! How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction.” To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth
by admin | May 19, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth for 05/19/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I want my kids to be good readers and read as much as possible. What’s the best way to make this happen? – Literary Dad
Dear Dad: Being a good reader and enjoying reading are two totally different things. It is possible to be a proficient reader who understands nuances, subtext and complex vocabulary but not passionate about sitting down with a book. It is also possible to adore reading but perhaps not score high on standardized tests. Focusing all energy on ability instead of satisfaction can suck the joy right out of reading.
Updated: Sat May 19, 2018
Creating Good Readers and Brushing a Toddler’s Teeth for 05/19/2018
by admin | May 18, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler for 05/18/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My children often receive holiday cards with money inside in the mail from their grandparents. They usually spend the money on stupid stuff they don’t need. One time my son gave a $50 bill to the American Heart Association, which is noble but I also thought a bit excessive. Should we let the kids spend their money on anything they want (even if it’s a waste of money) or try to show them the value of saving? – Frugal Dad
Dear Frugal: Define a waste of money. My guess is your definition will be vastly different from that of your children. In the eyes of a 7-year-old, a $50 bill is not much different from a $5 bill. Children don’t know what money can buy or why it might be worth it to save a bit.
Updated: Fri May 18, 2018
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler for 05/18/2018
by admin | May 18, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler for 05/18/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My children often receive holiday cards with money inside in the mail from their grandparents. They usually spend the money on stupid stuff they don’t need. One time my son gave a $50 bill to the American Heart Association, which is noble but I also thought a bit excessive. Should we let the kids spend their money on anything they want (even if it’s a waste of money) or try to show them the value of saving? – Frugal Dad
Dear Frugal: Define a waste of money. My guess is your definition will be vastly different from that of your children. In the eyes of a 7-year-old, a $50 bill is not much different from a $5 bill. Children don’t know what money can buy or why it might be worth it to save a bit.
Updated: Fri May 18, 2018
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler for 05/18/2018
by admin | May 18, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My children often receive holiday cards with money inside in the mail from their grandparents. They usually spend the money on stupid stuff they don’t need. One time my son gave a $50 bill to the American Heart Association, which is noble but I also thought a bit excessive. Should we let the kids spend their money on anything they want (even if it’s a waste of money) or try to show them the value of saving? — Frugal Dad
Dear Frugal: Define a waste of money. My guess is your definition will be vastly different from that of your children. In the eyes of a 7-year-old, a $50 bill is not much different from a $5 bill. Children don’t know what money can buy or why it might be worth it to save a bit.
My philosophy in general is that young people learn via experience. They don’t learn by their parents protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your son gives away all his money to charity or spends it on baseball cards or video games, he won’t have any left the next time he wants something. Imagine the two of you are walking the toy aisle in Target and he is begging for a pack of Pokemon cards. You say, “Do you have any money in your bank?” Your son will realize if he had saved a little money for an occasion when he wanted to buy something, he would be heading home with those cards right then. Furthermore, if you resist the urge to just buy him the toy anyway, he might feel disappointed or walk away realizing he didn’t need the cards. Either way he will learn more about managing his money in that moment than he would in 10 lectures from you.
One more thing: Your son clearly has a compassionate heart. Take pride in that.
Dear Family Coach: My daughter is a goody-goody. She is constantly tattling. She snitches on her brother. She tells her friends’ mothers when her friends make a bad choice. And she tattles on the kids at school to the teacher. She is only in fourth grade, so it hasn’t been a huge issue. But I can see her friends are growing tired of her ratting them out. How can I get her to mind her own business for everyone’s sake? — Tattler’s Mom
Dear Tattler’s Mom: No one likes a tattler, not the teacher, not the friend’s parent and clearly not you. You daughter is probably getting lots of social feedback that squealing on friends isn’t a popular choice, and yet she continues. That’s because she has a fundamental issue with dishonesty or going against the rules. Some children are extreme rule followers, and it upsets them greatly when others don’t follow suit. Even though your daughter may lose her friends, she most likely feels it is the price to pay for righting a wrong.
While being right at all costs might make your daughter unpopular, her behavior isn’t all bad. This world needs people like your little tattler to ensure there is equity among the people, and that all are treated fairly. Try to teach your daughter that there are differences in levels of injustice and it is OK to overlook a few minor infractions for the sake of getting along. Work with her to tolerate ambiguity and be more flexible. This will help her deal with the frustration she may feel pushes her to tattle in the first place.
Dr. Catherine Pearlman is the author of “Ignore It! How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction.” To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler
by admin | May 18, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler for 05/18/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My children often receive holiday cards with money inside in the mail from their grandparents. They usually spend the money on stupid stuff they don’t need. One time my son gave a $50 bill to the American Heart Association, which is noble but I also thought a bit excessive. Should we let the kids spend their money on anything they want (even if it’s a waste of money) or try to show them the value of saving? – Frugal Dad
Dear Frugal: Define a waste of money. My guess is your definition will be vastly different from that of your children. In the eyes of a 7-year-old, a $50 bill is not much different from a $5 bill. Children don’t know what money can buy or why it might be worth it to save a bit.
Updated: Fri May 18, 2018
Letting Kids Handle Their Money and a Tattler for 05/18/2018
