by admin | May 27, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My son is 12, and he clearly has a crush on his math teacher. I’ve noticed little notes he’s written about her. I’m worried he will say something embarrassing or cross the line in some way. How should I approach this situation? — Mom o’ Loverboy
Dear Mom: I’m pretty sure this was a plotline for an episode of “The Brady Bunch” and Carol solved the problem with some fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and a backyard potato sack race. While real life isn’t quite as simple, this isn’t a problem to lose sleep over.
Updated: Sat May 27, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 26, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I’ve been coaching my 10-year-old son’s baseball team for a few years. I enjoy spending the time together, but it seems like I have a more difficult time coaching my own son. Do you have any tips for how I can be more effective with my own kid? — Coach
Dear Coach: There is something heartwarming and nostalgic about a father and son heading off to practice together with bats and gloves in hand. But the reality is that coaching one’s child is, as you mentioned, difficult. Being a coach is very different than being a parent, and sometimes what’s needed for one role contradicts what’s needed for the other. When you are both, it’s confusing to know when to push hard and when to simply be supportive.
Updated: Fri May 26, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 20, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My daughter is turning 13 in a few weeks. Instead of a party, she wants to attend a Green Day concert without me. She’d like to invite two other girls to join her. I don’t feel she is old enough to go on her own with friends. What do you think? — Worrier
Dear Worrier: There are so many factors to consider when making this decision. Her age is just a number. Some 13-year-olds can’t do much of anything independently. Others can cook, do laundry, care for elderly relatives and manage farm animals on their own. Her maturity level and abilities are much more important measures of whether or not she is ready. The venue is also a factor. Is this concert in a large hall in an unfamiliar big city, or it is closer to home at a smaller site that is easier to navigate?
Updated: Sat May 20, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 19, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 18-year-old son was in a terrible car accident a few years ago, and he received a large cash settlement. Since I am listed on his bank account, I can see how he is spending his money. I’m sick to learn that he is blowing it away on parties, pizza and T-shirts. I know it’s his money, but is there anything I can do to preserve it for him until he can be more responsible with it? — Budget Mom
Dear Mom: There are two possible ways you can handle this situation. Both have merits and drawbacks. Weigh the options, and decide what is best for your son.
Updated: Fri May 19, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 13, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: The time has come for my son to choose a college. He has it in his head that he wants to attend a small rural liberal arts college with limited offerings. My husband and I think this school would be a terrible fit for him. Should we allow him to make his own decision even if we think it’s a bad one? — Grad’s Mom and Dad
Dear Mom and Dad: While it may not seem like it, choosing a college isn’t as important as, say, solving global warming or world hunger. Somehow, American society has evolved to where the most important goal of a child’s first 18 years is to get into the very best college. And the concept of the very best college implies that there is one particular school that will guarantee your child happiness, prosperity and success. I don’t believe that fallacy.
There is no one college for your son. I guarantee there are a variety of good programs for him and that he can thrive regardless of his eventual decision. Maybe this rural college has few options in terms of majors. But maybe that same college has an amazing set of alumni who mentor future graduates in a wide variety of fields. Maybe that small college in the middle of nowhere fosters self-reliance and self-development more than some big city school. And maybe he will have more opportunity to shine at that school (the whole big fish in a small pond thing) than at a big school, where he might get lost in the abyss of talented young people.
Updated: Sat May 13, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
by admin | May 12, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 13-year-old son has a mustache, and I cannot stand it. It’s more fuzzy than bushy, and it makes him look much older than he is. I’ve been begging him to shave it, but he refuses. Even some kids at school are harassing him and calling him Mustachio. How can I get him to shave it for his own good? — Mustachio’s Mom
Dear Mom: I think you are asking the wrong question. Don’t ask how you could make your son see the err in his facial hair ways. Instead, ask him what that mustache means to him. Here are the possible answers I predict.
The first answer is your son sees the hair, has no opinion about it and thus has no motivation to shave. If this is the case, you will only gnaw away at his self-esteem if you continue to push him to shave. Leave it alone.
Updated: Fri May 12, 2017
Source: Dear Family Coach
