by admin | Aug 11, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Divorced Parents and Choking on a Pea for 08/11/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I’m a divorced mom with a 10-year-old son. The arrangement with my ex is my son switches houses every weekend. He often forgets something inconsequential like a uniform or a book at one place or the other. Whenever I get frustrated with him, he tells me I don’t understand how hard it is to have divorced parents because my parents are still married. I feel he uses the divorce as an excuse and tries to make me feel guilty. How can I respond to him without sounding insensitive? – Mom Not Buying It
Dear Mom: I think it’s possible your son is making excuses and having divorced parents is hard. Organization isn’t always a strong suit for a 10-year-old. Add an additional home with twice as much to keep orderly and you have recipe for constant misplacement of important items. Imagine you had to travel for work every single week. Don’t you think you might forget a thing or two along the way?
Before doing anything about the missing items, take a moment to listen to your son. He is trying to tell you that having divorced parents isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes it’s inconvenient. Sometimes it’s frustrating. And I bet sometimes it’s upsetting. Don’t try to talk him out of that. Listen and show him some empathy. He didn’t ask for this situation.
Updated: Fri Aug 11, 2017
Divorced Parents and Choking on a Pea for 08/11/2017
by admin | Aug 5, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
A Book Lover and a Kind Soul for 08/05/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I feel one of my great failures as a parent is that my kids are not readers. They spend tons of time on their phones, like most other kids, and they diligently complete their homework. But free time is never spent reading. When I impose reading time, it feels like a punishment rather than a pleasure, which seems counterproductive. Any tips? – Reading Mama
Dear Mama: Give yourself and your kids a break. The joy of reading comes naturally to some children. Others may not see the benefits for years to come, if ever. While being able to read is important, a love of reading isn’t required to have a life filled with happiness and success.
Updated: Sat Aug 05, 2017
A Book Lover and a Kind Soul for 08/05/2017
by admin | Aug 4, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Daughter Unties Mom After Robbery for 08/04/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: Last week, while my husband and 7-year-old daughter were at an amusement, park two young men broke into my house and demanded money and credit cards. After I gave them what they wanted, they gagged me and hogtied me face down in the kitchen. Three hours later, my husband and daughter came home, and they untied me. Luckily, I wasn’t hurt, but I’m concerned about how this will affect my daughter. She was loving and concerned about me, and she showed no apparent detrimental effects. Still, I think she should see a counselor, but my husband thinks prodding her may produce concerns that are not there. I’m torn. What do you think? – Bound in Doubt
Dear Bound: This sounds like a highly traumatic event for the entire family. It’s incredible that you were not hurt physically and that your daughter seems to be unaffected. However, emotional wounds can be even harder to see and take longer to heal.
Updated: Fri Aug 04, 2017
Daughter Unties Mom After Robbery for 08/04/2017
by admin | Jul 29, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Running After the Mean Girls and an Ignoring Stepdaughter for 07/29/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 7-year-old daughter is not very savvy on the playground. She is constantly chasing after the “mean girls” because she says they play more exciting games than her own friends. Should we be helping her understand that it is better to hang with those who appreciate her and want her around, even if the game is a little bit boring, rather than trying to play the more exciting games with the girls who barely give her the time of day? – Playground Mom
Dear Playground: Your daughter is experimenting with the playground social hierarchy. Friendships shift constantly as children grow. Navigating the social system is arduous, even for adults. Your daughter might need your input on this one at some point. But maybe not yet.
Updated: Sat Jul 29, 2017
Running After the Mean Girls and an Ignoring Stepdaughter for 07/29/2017
by admin | Jul 28, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
A Shaggy-Haired Grandson and a Young Fan of Rap Music for 07/28/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My family is throwing a party for my father’s 65th birthday, and my mother told me to cut my 13-year-old son’s hair or not bring him along. Do I haul my kid to a barber over his objections, or is it OK to leave him at home? Help! – Dad in the Middle
Dear In the Middle: It must be incredibly sad to see your parents throw down a cold-hearted ultimatum. They clearly have an image of what a young man should look like and, regrettably, it isn’t the image of your son. I would never recommend involuntarily butchering a pubescent teen’s hair. That’s the time in a person’s life when identity is being formed. One’s appearance is extremely central to that identity. It would be a colossal assault to make him cut off his hair.
Updated: Fri Jul 28, 2017
A Shaggy-Haired Grandson and a Young Fan of Rap Music for 07/28/2017
by admin | Jul 22, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Little Miss Know-It-All and a Defiant Boy for 07/22/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: Sometimes I notice that my child acts like a know-it-all. She is constantly raising her hand in class and telling her friends the best way to do play a game or do any task. Her friends are getting annoyed, and I see how it causes her to struggle socially. How can I help her work better with her peers? – Know-It-All’s Mom
Dear Mom: There are several reasons you may be raising a know-it-all. Your daughter might be highly intelligent and simply interested in sharing her knowledge. She might also have a fragile self-esteem. In other words, she acts like a know-it-all because she is afraid kids won’t like her if she acts like herself. Lastly, your daughter might have difficulty reading social situations. She likely doesn’t understand the effect her actions have on her peers. I bet she is struggling with one or more of these reasons.
Updated: Sat Jul 22, 2017
Little Miss Know-It-All and a Defiant Boy for 07/22/2017
