by admin | Oct 13, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
An Unwanted Boyfriend and Missing Parenting for 10/13/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 15-year-old daughter believes she is in love. Despite our objections, she says that she will see her “boyfriend” no matter what we say. I don’t allow dating until age 16. And I think in my daughter’s case, it needs to be more like 17 or 18. She struggles with depression and is very rebellious, disorganized and very naive. To avoid drama, my husband convinced me to allow her to visit the “boyfriend’s” house. Should I be bending the rules for the sake of peace? – Stricter Parent
Dear Stricter: I hate to say this, but putting the word “boyfriend” in quotation marks doesn’t change his status. Your daughter is in love, and there isn’t much you can do about it. The trouble is that any efforts you put forth to curb her dating will only push it further underground. She will say she is with a friend when she is really with him. And you will have no idea what she is up to, or with whom. Don’t go the route of forbidding her relationship. Instead, become a mentor and a safe place for her to talk about the intricacies of dating.
Updated: Fri Oct 13, 2017
An Unwanted Boyfriend and Missing Parenting for 10/13/2017
by admin | Oct 7, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Devastating News and Constant Rebellion for 10/07/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My kids are exposed to what seems to be an endless stream of devastating news. Natural disasters, mass shootings and other forms of unspeakable violence are impossible for them to avoid. It’s so normal for them that they are starting to turn jaded. I don’t want to freak them out or have them live in fear, but at the same time, I don’t want them to lack sympathy for the victims of these events. How do I strike a balance? – Sick of It
Dear Sick: It’s a horrible shame that our kids are growing up in this environment. Before the victims of one hurricane or event are taken care of, there are more victims to worry about. As adults, we find it exhausting to manage the emotions of the constant barrage. For children, it’s even trickier.
Updated: Sat Oct 07, 2017
Devastating News and Constant Rebellion for 10/07/2017
by admin | Oct 6, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
A Stressed Schoolgirl and Wanting a Dog for 10/06/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My fun, bright, accomplished fifth-grader is stressed. She is teary at the drop of a hat, expresses feeling left out and articulates that she’s overwhelmed by school. She says the trouble is keeping track of the multitude of notebooks and folders. She worries about upcoming work for the week and having so many things to remember. She seems to be alone a lot, too. What can we do to help her? – Concerned Parents
Dear Concerned: Your little girl is getting steamrolled by her world. It may seem hard to imagine why elementary school can be so stressful, but there are lots of moving parts. For some, it can feel like too much. Now is a good time to work on her issues before she moves into middle school, which has bigger challenges.
Updated: Fri Oct 06, 2017
A Stressed Schoolgirl and Wanting a Dog for 10/06/2017
by admin | Sep 30, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Miserable Mealtimes and Grumpy Mornings for 09/30/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My three kids and my husband all whine and complain at mealtime. Everyone likes something different, and some are so picky they eat only a few foods. I feel as if I’m going to battle every meal. I offer this and then that and then something else. Everyone eats eventually, but it’s miserable. Help me quickly! – Lost
Dear Lost: Your family is playing you, and you are losing the game. Dealing with picky eaters is a challenge. But you are creating monsters by making and offering so many options at every meal. Save yourself and your sanity by ending this practice today.
Updated: Sat Sep 30, 2017
Miserable Mealtimes and Grumpy Mornings for 09/30/2017
by admin | Sep 29, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Siblings Hit and Nazi Paraphernalia for 09/29/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: Although we know that our 8-year-old daughter loves her 10-year-old brother very much, her first reaction when he teases or otherwise annoys her is to yell and hit him. It’s an immediate overreaction. She does warn him (by yelling), but if he doesn’t stop (which he doesn’t), she hits. How should we approach this? Both kids are at fault, but she definitely takes it to another level. – Sick of Bickering
Dear Sick of Bickering: Your daughter isn’t overreacting. She’s being teased consistently by her older and more powerful brother. That’s frustrating. She also clearly has little control over stopping it. Also frustrating. What looks like overreacting is really your daughter’s being out of acceptable tools to make her brother stop the harassment. So she yells and hits him. She’s angry, and she wants to make him angry, too. Though her methods aren’t appropriate, I can certainly understand the reaction. Can’t you?
Updated: Fri Sep 29, 2017
Siblings Hit and Nazi Paraphernalia for 09/29/2017
by admin | Sep 23, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Jewish but Not Religious, and Chores for 09/23/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My family is Jewish but not religious. Most of us are atheist or agnostic. We still celebrate all of the holidays because we consider ourselves culturally Jewish. We used to live in a Jewish area, so the schools were closed for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Now we live in an area with very few Jews, so the kids have school on those days. My oldest is in high school and doesn’t want to miss classes. But I feel that it sends a message to others that Judaism doesn’t matter when not even the Jews observe the holiday. I want to forbid her from attending school. Is that unfair? – Jewish
Dear Jewish: From what you’ve said, it sounds like your primary concern is that others will misunderstand Judaism if your daughter attends school. You may be right, but your first obligation is to your daughter. Why doesn’t she want to miss school? I’m guessing because high school is stressful. It moves quickly, and missing even one day can cause a bit of a breakdown.
Updated: Sat Sep 23, 2017
Jewish but Not Religious, and Chores for 09/23/2017
