by admin | Jan 6, 2018 | Dear Family Coach
A Square Peg and Walking to School for 01/06/2018
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My wife and I are raising three kids. We are a sporty high-achievement family. As parents, we have been instilling the values of hard work and persistence. Unfortunately, my youngest son doesn’t seem to be fitting in with the rest of us. Every time I try to work with him it feels like jamming a square peg into a round hole. He is pulling away more and more. What’s the best way to help him fall in line better with the rest of us and follow our family values? – Concerned
Dear Concerned: Frankly, I’m concerned more about you than your youngest. So he doesn’t fit in perfectly. That doesn’t have to be cause for alarm or reason to have to “work” with your son.
Updated: Sat Jan 06, 2018
A Square Peg and Walking to School for 01/06/2018
by admin | Dec 30, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Party Pooper and Sleepovers for 12/30/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My family has been invited to a New Year’s Eve party. There will be lots of food, kids and karaoke. My 14-year-old daughter doesn’t want to go. She wants to stay home by herself. She often tries to opt out of family plans she isn’t particularly jazzed about. I think she should be forced to join the family sometimes. Is this right? – Mad Mom
Dear Mom: Teenagers routinely want to do nothing with their families. They want to sleep in and be left alone in their rooms right after a brief moment of socialization while foraging for food. Now, with teens being connected with all of their friends through tiny handheld devices, it makes it ever more difficult to motivate them to get out of the house. Teens start to act as if family time were passe and everything were boring.
Updated: Sat Dec 30, 2017
Party Pooper and Sleepovers for 12/30/2017
by admin | Dec 23, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
A Cheater and a Gaming Spender for 12/23/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 16-year-old daughter was caught cheating on a test. She was overwhelmed and made a bad choice. Now it seems like it will ruin all of her hard work because it will be reported to colleges. She is beyond distraught, and I’m worried about her. What can I do to minimize the damage here? – Panic-Stricken
Dear Panic: This is bound to be a difficult time for both you and your daughter. She made a mistake, and that in and of itself is painful. But when that mistake has lasting consequences, hopelessness and depression can creep in. Keep an eye on your daughter for signs of her giving up or not caring anymore about her future. Make sure to get her to a counselor if her depression worsens.
Updated: Sat Dec 23, 2017
A Cheater and a Gaming Spender for 12/23/2017
by admin | Dec 16, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
No Present Christmas and a Bogus Girlfriend for 12/16/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 14-year-old son has told me to get him nothing for Christmas. He says he doesn’t need or want anything. Meanwhile, his brothers have long lists. Money isn’t an issue, yet I’m struggling with not getting him something. I don’t want him to miss getting presents, but it seems weird to force presents on a kid who doesn’t care for them. What should I do? – Spent
Dear Spent: There are several reasons your son might say he doesn’t want anything this year. I’d consider the reasons carefully so you know how to proceed.
Updated: Sat Dec 16, 2017
No Present Christmas and a Bogus Girlfriend for 12/16/2017
by admin | Dec 9, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Santa Surveillance and Checking Bedtime at College for 12/09/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My kids’ behavior has been dreadful lately. I’ve tried everything, and I feel like I can’t make a dent. The kids love Christmas and Santa, so I’m thinking about getting The Elf on the Shelf to encourage good behavior. Even though I’ve totally resisted because I have no time for this, I’m hoping the behavior will at least improve for December. Should I get it? – Hesitant
Dear Hesitant: Every year I hear parents say to their misbehaving kids, “Santa’s watching.” And every year I’m heartbroken for those parents. They are out of tools. They believe the only way to improve behavior at this point is to hold the loss of material gifts over their kids’ heads. Now there are even more options for pretending someone all-knowing is watching your kids. First there was the elf who reports back to Santa to decide who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Then the Mensch on a Bench showed up so the Jews don’t feel left out. Now there are even Santa spy surveillance cameras (Can you say creepy?) that light up when Santa’s elves are observing. Good grief!
Updated: Sat Dec 09, 2017
Santa Surveillance and Checking Bedtime at College for 12/09/2017
by admin | Dec 2, 2017 | Dear Family Coach
Sabotaging College and Emotional Meltdowns for 12/02/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My son is a senior, and he is slowly throwing away all of his options for college. He has excellent SAT scores, but his grades are erratic. He isn’t going to class and is missing a lot of assignments. When confronted, he is remorseful but still can’t get his act together. He’s sabotaging himself, and I’m heartbroken watching him fail. I’ve tried everything to help him to no avail. What can I do now to stop his downfall? – Devastated
Dear Devastated: It’s painful to watch an accident happening and not be able to prevent it. As a last-ditch effort, it might help to organize a big conference with your son, his high school counselor and his teachers to allow everyone to work on the issues together. Try not to add additional stress and pressure, as that may actually make your son regress further. Instead, focus on addressing his emotional needs, and let the school help with the academic ones.
Updated: Sat Dec 02, 2017
Sabotaging College and Emotional Meltdowns for 12/02/2017
