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Tips and Expert Advice on Parenting - the Family Coach

Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018


Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My nearly 4-year-old daughter is not potty trained. At preschool she is prompted to use to toilet every hour or so, and she successfully tinkles. But at home she refuses to tell us when she needs to go and has a tantrum when we suggest she sit on the potty. She has never pooped on the potty at school or at home. She just goes in her pullup. We’ve tried everything. Should we continue to push her or just put her in underwear and hope for the best? – Daddy

Dear Daddy: Pump the breaks. Potty training comes easily to some, looking almost as if the kid trained herself. But for others it’s a struggle. The worst path parents can take with a resistant trainer is to push and prod. Little kids control almost nothing in their lives. Where they pee and poop is in their control. When children see how desperately important the toilet seems to their parents, they often decide to resist just because they can.

Updated: Sat Mar 17, 2018

Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018

Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018


Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My nearly 4-year-old daughter is not potty trained. At preschool she is prompted to use to toilet every hour or so, and she successfully tinkles. But at home she refuses to tell us when she needs to go and has a tantrum when we suggest she sit on the potty. She has never pooped on the potty at school or at home. She just goes in her pullup. We’ve tried everything. Should we continue to push her or just put her in underwear and hope for the best? – Daddy

Dear Daddy: Pump the breaks. Potty training comes easily to some, looking almost as if the kid trained herself. But for others it’s a struggle. The worst path parents can take with a resistant trainer is to push and prod. Little kids control almost nothing in their lives. Where they pee and poop is in their control. When children see how desperately important the toilet seems to their parents, they often decide to resist just because they can.

Updated: Sat Mar 17, 2018

Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018

Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018


Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My nearly 4-year-old daughter is not potty trained. At preschool she is prompted to use to toilet every hour or so, and she successfully tinkles. But at home she refuses to tell us when she needs to go and has a tantrum when we suggest she sit on the potty. She has never pooped on the potty at school or at home. She just goes in her pullup. We’ve tried everything. Should we continue to push her or just put her in underwear and hope for the best? – Daddy

Dear Daddy: Pump the breaks. Potty training comes easily to some, looking almost as if the kid trained herself. But for others it’s a struggle. The worst path parents can take with a resistant trainer is to push and prod. Little kids control almost nothing in their lives. Where they pee and poop is in their control. When children see how desperately important the toilet seems to their parents, they often decide to resist just because they can.

Updated: Sat Mar 17, 2018

Potty-Training Resistance and a Nickname for 03/17/2018

A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018


A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My son’s sports idol is a womanizing, arrogant jerk by most accounts. At only 10 years old, my son isn’t aware of most of his hero’s problems. Despite recent allegations of serial extramarital affairs, my son said he loves him anyway. As a woman, wife and mother, I’m troubled by this. But I don’t want to ruin his hero for him. What can I do? – Feminist Mom

Dear Feminist: It would be very hard for your son to truly comprehend what is so upsetting about an extramarital affair. He’s just a boy who probably can’t even envision dating, let alone marriage. So his need to brush off the allegations isn’t troubling per se. However, it does signify that it might be time to broaden your discussions in general about dating, marriage and heroes.

Updated: Sat Mar 10, 2018

A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018

A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018


A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My son’s sports idol is a womanizing, arrogant jerk by most accounts. At only 10 years old, my son isn’t aware of most of his hero’s problems. Despite recent allegations of serial extramarital affairs, my son said he loves him anyway. As a woman, wife and mother, I’m troubled by this. But I don’t want to ruin his hero for him. What can I do? – Feminist Mom

Dear Feminist: It would be very hard for your son to truly comprehend what is so upsetting about an extramarital affair. He’s just a boy who probably can’t even envision dating, let alone marriage. So his need to brush off the allegations isn’t troubling per se. However, it does signify that it might be time to broaden your discussions in general about dating, marriage and heroes.

Updated: Sat Mar 10, 2018

A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018

A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018


A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My son’s sports idol is a womanizing, arrogant jerk by most accounts. At only 10 years old, my son isn’t aware of most of his hero’s problems. Despite recent allegations of serial extramarital affairs, my son said he loves him anyway. As a woman, wife and mother, I’m troubled by this. But I don’t want to ruin his hero for him. What can I do? – Feminist Mom

Dear Feminist: It would be very hard for your son to truly comprehend what is so upsetting about an extramarital affair. He’s just a boy who probably can’t even envision dating, let alone marriage. So his need to brush off the allegations isn’t troubling per se. However, it does signify that it might be time to broaden your discussions in general about dating, marriage and heroes.

Updated: Sat Mar 10, 2018

A Falling Hero and Perfect Profanity for 03/10/2018

A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018


A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My daughter couldn’t find her glasses, so she offered to give her brother a crazy amount of money if he were to find them. He suggested that she check her backpack. When she did, she found her glasses. Now, my daughter refuses to pay my son the money she promised him. I feel she should have to pay up because, without her brother, she wouldn’t have found them. On the other hand, he didn’t exactly find them. They’ve been fighting about this ferociously. Whose side should I take? – In the Middle

Dear Middle: You should take no one’s side. Stay far out of it. This isn’t your battle to resolve, and any meddling you do will backfire almost immediately.

Updated: Sat Mar 03, 2018

A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018

A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018


A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My daughter couldn’t find her glasses, so she offered to give her brother a crazy amount of money if he were to find them. He suggested that she check her backpack. When she did, she found her glasses. Now, my daughter refuses to pay my son the money she promised him. I feel she should have to pay up because, without her brother, she wouldn’t have found them. On the other hand, he didn’t exactly find them. They’ve been fighting about this ferociously. Whose side should I take? – In the Middle

Dear Middle: You should take no one’s side. Stay far out of it. This isn’t your battle to resolve, and any meddling you do will backfire almost immediately.

Updated: Sat Mar 03, 2018

A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018

A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018


A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My daughter couldn’t find her glasses, so she offered to give her brother a crazy amount of money if he were to find them. He suggested that she check her backpack. When she did, she found her glasses. Now, my daughter refuses to pay my son the money she promised him. I feel she should have to pay up because, without her brother, she wouldn’t have found them. On the other hand, he didn’t exactly find them. They’ve been fighting about this ferociously. Whose side should I take? – In the Middle

Dear Middle: You should take no one’s side. Stay far out of it. This isn’t your battle to resolve, and any meddling you do will backfire almost immediately.

Updated: Sat Mar 03, 2018

A Broken Promise and Nighttime Cellphone Rules for 03/03/2018

Extreme Stranger Danger and Crazy Neighbors for 02/24/2018


Extreme Stranger Danger and Crazy Neighbors for 02/24/2018
Dear Family Coach

Dear Family Coach: My daughter, who is just 3, seems to have severe stranger danger and social anxiety. She struggles to use public bathrooms and attend fun activities like storytime. She won’t participate, shuts down, clings to me and cries. Everyone looks at me like I beat her. Today we couldn’t even coax her into looking at the dentist. I’m at my wits’ end. Is this a normal phase, or should I find us a good therapist? – Despondent Dad

Dear Despondent: Being shy isn’t necessarily a problem. Some kids just need more time to warm up to new people and situations. Given a period to do so and the right support, most kids can overcome their inhibitions. However, when shyness begins to interfere with the child’s daily living activities, it could be cause for concern.

Updated: Sat Feb 24, 2018

Extreme Stranger Danger and Crazy Neighbors for 02/24/2018